It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
