Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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