dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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