The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
