$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
