so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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