I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
