my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
