if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Randomize
