I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Randomize
