I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize