Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
