butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
