I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize