Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
