i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize