well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize