TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
