He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
