Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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