guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
