this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
