quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
