Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize