Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize