I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
