okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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