Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize