I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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