dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I didn't notice because vodka
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
