would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
