Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
