It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
