Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
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