Ambien. No doubt about it.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Randomize
