At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
