I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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