No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize