I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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