i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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