Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
