i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
