We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize
