currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
