I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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