I'm drive I can fine osifer
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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