when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You took a bar mat shot.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
