when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
