You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
