it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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