My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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