i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
