My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
