Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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