good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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