we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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