When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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