and next time when you feel me up, do it right
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
