It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
