You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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