her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
