Dual....:-)
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
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