One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
