Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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