when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize