About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
